I haven’t worked since school started, but that doesn’t mean I’m outta
the job. I’m choosing not to cuz I’ve already failed this semester once
and there sure as hell AIN’T NO EXCUSE to fail again.
So…had to lay down the law, crack open the books, and keep my nose
deep inside them!! So deep its my f*ing night pillow!! Spilling blood
every where from creating notecards and getting endless paper cuts.

Ok Ok…..now I’m just overdoing it, but……I’ve just been wanting to focus on school & spending family time.

When I’m off on break all I do is work, and every now & then get time with the family if I’m not too exhausted from work.

Now at this time…..I’m pretty pissy from PMSing with a bad ass splitting headache!!

Every little thing is bothering me—-smells, colors, how bright the
sun can be. As if I’ve been drinking the whole night before and have to
wear sunglasses even indoors. Gets me thinking….WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??
But, of course, being in the nursing field I can blame it all on my
hormones. Oh wait, you don’t need to be in the nursing field to realize
that…YOU JUST NEED TO BE A WOMAN!!

Its been so long since I’ve had a meaningful update.
Something personal…not just your everyday update just with pictures
as if thats a true insite into myself, me, the I.

Honestly….I’m not sure if there really is anything meaningful. I
really don’t have anything to complain about. I realized that as the
new year turned the clock kept ticking….all the remedial/petty
bullshit people so often live their lives by, (“oh she’s/he has this much better than me/ damn look at them carrying themselves this way/ what a f*ing whore“) petty kid bullshit is just what it is. PETTY BULLSHIT.
I’m over the shit talking, being envious of what another person has
better than me/or what I think is better than what I have. I’m at the
point of, WHO F*ING CARES?!?
Why should I sweat their shit when I can just bust my ass and say in
the end when I’ve got what I want that I worked my ass off to get this
and it feels DAMN good to know I EARNED it!!

I could go for pancakes!! Lots of butter!!

Damn this PMSing shit!!!!!! DAMN FEMALE HORMONES!! <<—-random, yes, I know

I’m sorry I haven’t left a meaningful comment on anybody’s xanga. I do
care about everybody still, but, I just haven’t had the drive I used
to…the excitement to go on. When I kept updating it was like I was
motivated to do so. Xanga was exciting. It still is every now and then,
but there’s so much more going on it just isn’t at the top of my list.

Pretty much the only thing thats been going through my head lately is the future.

I’m gonna be a nurse….the one thing in the world I’ve been wanting. I
realized that when I take care of people I love it. Regardless of how
bad a day it might be….no matter how much my patients shit all at the
same time/ how much each one of them complains nonstop / how psycho and
combative they can be….when my shift is over and I’m driving home, I
feel accomplished and proud of what I’ve done. Out of all the people I
may have taken care of, there’s at least one I’ve touched and while
they were in the hospital might have actually felt better.

On so many people’s occupation/education on their profile they put
medical. Sometimes I wonder if they really know what being in the
medical field is all about. What makes me mad the most is those that
are only it it for the  MONEY and stability. Stability I
understand…you need that in life. But to run your life only because
of the money will get you nowhere. You’ll get put into a 12 hr. shift
3-4 times a week and your ass will get burnt out!! Lemme just be f*ing
honest.

I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE GET INTO NURSING JUST BECAUSE OF THE
MONEY!! I truly hate it with a passion. Its the one thing that boils my
blood/ cringes me over to where I just wanna punch that person in the
face. I’ve seen it on my floor. People get so sick of having to give
the patient’s medication, they talk all this shit about how the patient
is just lying and wanting attention, and can’t wait till their shift is
over. I understand if you’ve been working shift after shift and all you
want to do is get home/ get in bed / and spend time with your kids. But
when you’re at the point where each patient is just another paycheck to
you and each one of them just wants attention and they’re not telling
the truth about how they feel. You don’t need to be there!!

Its so true when they say, look at each one of those people as if they
could be your family member. As cliche’ and cheezy as it may sound its
damn true!!